Mamavation/ Motivation

Mamavation Monday – December 28, 2009

This is my first Mamavation Monday post, so please bear with me.

Mamavation Monday

Mamavation Monday

This past week has been very stressful and challenging for my husband and I. My husband’s mom has either Ovarian or Cervical Cancer (I don’t really know which one because my hubby won’t talk about it and even though my MIL was diagnosed in the Spring she hasn’t even told me she has cancer yet). She had a hysterectomy in June, began Chemo in August, finished chemo in November and has now begun 6-8 wks of daily radiation.   Two weeks ago she lost her balance, fell and spent a week in the hospital so my hubby went up to Ottawa, ON to visit her for 5 days and I got to spend yet another period of solo-parenting. What does this have to do with Christmas stress?   Well 1/2 way his 6 hr drive back home my hubby’s engine blew.   Gone – according to the Mazda dealership in Belleville he brought it into.   A $6 grand expense we just hadn’t planned for with our 3 yr old car.

After hubby’s car ordeal I decided to take my truck in for some routine maintenance that ended up costing us $300 (oil change, engine flush, air filter, cabin air filter etc…).   It was a good thing I brought it in because it was discovered that the cabin air filter was missing – not clogged and dirty – missing, as in never ever there.   A cabin air filter filters dust, debris and emissions from other cars.   They should be replaced every year, but I think this was the first time mine has been checked in the 7 yrs we’ve owned the truck.   My routine maintenance has saved my life.   Every day because I had no cabin air filter I’ve been sucking in carbon monoxide from the traffic I’ve been sitting in for an hour to and an hour from work each day.   I’ve felt light headed, foggy, headachy and have been having an incredibly hard time focussing and functioning at work.   Every night I’ve been exhausted – falling into bed most nights when the kids went to bed.   I’ve had no energy to do anything – gaining weight, eating poorly, drinking a million coffees everyday and not exercising.   I’ve felt amazing over the past week being off from work and not driving in my truck.

Unfortunately being home this week with our dog has brought to our attention that she’s sick.   She’s a 10 yr old rottweiler that we rescued when she was 1 yr old – she’s trained for several marathons and 1/2 marathons with me over the years and has kept me company through 2 maternity leaves.     Molly has been having bladder control problems that have been controlled by a weekly estrogen pill.   WIth everything going on over the past 3 months hubby and I forgot to give her her pills – Molly has been leaking on her doggie bed.   No big deal right?   Just wash her doggie bed and give the dog her hormone pills.   It’s not so simple because her pee spots are tainted red – she has blood in her urine.   Yesterday and today I took her out for a run and when she peed on the grass her pee was dark red – almost pure blood.   Molly’s kidney’s are failing and because of our car expenses we’re not sure what to do – we can barely afford a regular physical for her, never mind extensive tests, medications, surgery or even euthanasia for her.   Hubby is bringing her to the vet tonight at 5 pm.

With worrying about my MIL, the dog, our cars and the normal Christmas stresses of cleaning, baking and wrapping I’ve been an emotional eating mess.   I ate ALL the chocolate turtles + 2 other boxes of chocolate – arrgh!   Yesterday and today I tried to redeem myself by running.   According to my Nike + I ran 3.93km yesterday and 3.75km today (though both days I ran the exact same route).

Tomorrow (or tonight) we hope to pack up the car to head to trek up to Ottawa to see my MIL for Christmas.   Though with everything going on it would make more sense to stay home with the sick dog, I just couldn’t live with myself if she took a bad turn and we missed out on seeing her at Christmas.   I’m going to bring my running gear and try to eat as healthy as possible – though that’s always hard when being away from home.   Here’s to a better week next week!

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  • beachbrights
    December 28, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Good grief girl! How do you hold it together? I would have curled up in a ball & cried by now. You are obviously strong and courageous (I can tell by your resilience). Enjoy the time with your MIL. I hope the vet can offer you a deferred payment plan or even a discount. Make sure u let vet know dog was a rescue, sometimes there are charity funds available.

    As far as emotional eating, I am the last one to give advice. But it seems like your “loss of control” in your environment (sick MIL, car$, dog) is spilling over into your food. Take control over the things you can control (like your eating) and give the rest to your God/Beliefs.

    You can do this. Make a plan and stick with it. Get organized. I'm thinking of you!!!

  • leahsegedie
    December 28, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    OMG, I had no idea. I'm so sorry! My aunt was the same way with her cancer. She didn't even tell her friends until she had cancer for over 5 years. Her co-workers didn't even know until she had to take medical leave, but she would always come back before she should have. Some people are just like that. I'm so happy you were able to spend Xmas with her. That is so important.

    And your dog…how heart breaking. Is the dog in any pain?

    Well, I'm glad you are running. That exercise should lift your spirits. I love the power of endorphins. Push yourself REALLY hard right now. Get all your frustrations out. XXOO

  • traycetrulytrayce
    December 28, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Woah. Oh honey what a few months/weeks/days you've had. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you found #mamavation and have connected with us. If I have learned anything these past 9 weeks of following along mamavation style is that there is support. Please just ask when you need it. We will be here even if you don't. Regardless thank you for this post which took honesty and is your first step to realizing your goals. (((hugs))) for everything else going on….just hugs. xo

  • kia
    December 28, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    It is hard and I am glad you spoke up about the stress in your life right now. You are amazing for dealing with all this and still making time to run. O.k., with the chocolate and stress eating aside you know you doing great things working towards a healthy lifestyle balance. I wish you and your family well with your MIL's health, your pup, and the cars.

  • mommymomo
    December 28, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    oh noooo!!! I'm sooo sorry for everything you're going through. That is alot on your plate. Most importantly take care of yourself. keep your head up and you can do this! Running is such a stress reliever and clears your mind. its great for your soul. bring those shoes and when you start feeling overwhelmed… run. We're here for you. to motivate. support. and encourage. Thinking of you girlie 🙂

  • sarahcaiafa
    December 28, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    whoa. That is a lot on your plate. Hang in there. I have h1n1. Your poor pup. big hugs coming your way

  • Angelasue79
    December 28, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    I am so sorry that you're going through what sounds like a disaster of a week. That is so rough. I try to remember that it's not food that makes me feel better, but it doesn't always work for me either. Chin up, I am sure things will get better soon.

  • reneeakacutiebootycakes
    December 28, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    I am so sorry that you are having all of these things happen at once. Like you, I am an emotional eater and turn to food during stressful times. Working out and focusing on eating right plus surrounding myself with the lovely #mamavation women and others that support me has made a tremendous change. I think joining us is the best thing that you can do and soon only 1 turtle will satisfy your cravings – or perhaps none at all!

  • lastminutemandy
    December 31, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Oh my goodness – one or two of those things alone is enough to go hog wild of a diet or exercise plan for some *ahem, me, ahem* so I understand. My grandmother was the same with her cancer – I was told she had cancer of the “something in her midsection.” I'm so sorry you are under so much stress. Hang in. And when you can't hang in, hang in a little longer and call for our help. Hugs.

  • Elbert Altice
    February 1, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Hey there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.


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